One of the many questions I get asked by men wanting to know “why did ibn Saud divorce his wives?” is this: “already married, was he trying to divorce his wife just to get more money out of her?” This is a good question and a complicated one. It’s a bit like asking, “Why did Tom Cruise divorce Marina Gaga?” Of course, both of them were married, but their careers certainly didn’t help their situation one bit!
First, let me make a point. Marriages don’t “just come apart” overnight. Even when spouses are on solid ground financially, sometimes there can be some complications. The fact is, there are women who want out of a relationship but aren’t quite ready to actually tie the knot. It’s not uncommon for a man in his thirties to be having trouble seeing his wife for months at a time. She may be too tired from work or too emotionally worn down to enjoy a deeper commitment with someone else.
When a man in his fifties considers marriage, it often bothers him because he feels older and wiser. If you’ve been married for twenty years, that’s a pretty long term for a relationship. A woman in her forties probably doesn’t expect to have to go through the whole ordeal of divorce and settlement. And yet, she’s still there. She needs to be satisfied. She may need a little space and time.
But women in their late thirties or early forties don’t have the financial assets of their husbands. Even if they do have the same number of assets (including real estate) as their husbands do, their financial situation may simply require them to rethink their long-term priorities. They are no longer the financially independent woman they were when they were young.
Two weeks before the alleged “amicus victus” deposition, his wife brought an article from a local daily newspaper to his office. It was about how his wife wanted to make an impact on her husband’s business. She mentioned a potential lawsuit that could be filed against him if he didn’t allow her to share in his ownership of a company they both had shares in. This was a blow to his ego.
Two weeks later, his wife presented him with a divorce complaint. The gist of it was simple: He was no longer her husband. But in order for the judge to rule in her favor, there needed to be some sort of proof that the union between them had stopped working. So two weeks after Abuwall’s wife brought the article from the paper, his lawyers presented him with a financial statement that claimed they had already stopped sharing finances.
The reason why did ibn Saud divorce his wives? His second wife, the young lady, claimed that the marriage was drawing to a close because they had achieved little together. She told the judge that even though she and her husband had reached a divorce settlement six years ago, their marriage was still alive. Their case hinged on this fact. If that was true then the marriage was already over.
Wasn’t that obvious? No matter how hard I try to stay objective, it doesn’t matter whether you think Abuwall acted responsibly or not. His actions were wrong. And we all know that sometimes taking the easy way out is the worst thing to do. (Even in business.) But if the two parties had talked before they decided to marry, then Abuwall would have gotten more advice from an objective party.
But we are not talking about any women here. We are talking about Abuwall bin Aabd Allah (Abu Dhi Zayd). The one who married the second lady. It is clear from the start that Abuwall resented the second woman for not being more submissive. It was only when Abuwall started talking to the womenfolk of Yemen that he realized that being dominant and domineering was not an acceptable approach. So that is why he went back to his first wife.
The same is true with the later women that Abuwall married. He softened his approach and became more like their husbands, treating them as his equals. There is no reason to doubt that women can be as equal to men as previously conceived. The key here is that their place is not in the kitchen or the yard. Their place is in the home. This is what we meant by the phrase, “witzah” last night.
It is irrelevant whether this was a mutual decision or a physical necessity. One thing is for certain: it ended in divorce. And, that is the point. Why did ibn Saad divorce his wives? It shows that, if you are a Muslim and your tradition allows for divorce, then you should follow the law and divorce them.
The information is provided by IBN Saud Website. Thank you for reading!